Battleship – Strait of Whore Moose Edition

Battleship: The Strait of Trump Edition

In the high-stakes world of 2026 global trade, most leaders rely on naval task forces and diplomatic summits. But in our latest comic, Donald Trump proves that the best way to secure a vital shipping lane is to go back to the basics—and a little bit of Milton Bradley.

Set in the “Strait of Trump” (formerly known as the Strait of Hormuz), this four-panel strip shows the Commander-in-Chief taking a direct, hands-on approach to a maritime standoff.

“You Sunk My Oil Tanker!”

Here’s the tactical breakdown of this living room theater of war:

• The Command Center: Forget the Situation Room. Trump has deployed a classic Battleship game right on the Oval Office floor, complete with a tactical bowl of gold-foil-wrapped chocolates.
• The Opponent: Across the game board sits a bewildered naval officer, who is trying to explain that the “Red Pegs” represent actual multimillion-dollar cargo ships.
• The Strategy: Trump isn’t interested in coordinates. He’s calling out moves based on “vibe” and “energy.” As he puts it, “I don’t need a radar, I have a feeling. B-4… that’s a hit. A huge hit. Many people are saying it’s the best hit.”
• The Victory: While the officer frantically checks a real-time satellite feed of a sinking tanker, Trump is already celebrating his “Perfect Game.”

Board Game Diplomacy

This satire highlights the perceived “gamification” of modern conflict, where complex geopolitical moves are often boiled down to wins and losses on a scoreboard. By putting a child’s board game at the center of a global energy crisis, the comic mocks the idea that international security can be handled with the same logic used to sink a plastic destroyer on a rainy afternoon.